"Menopause Madness: Full of Rage and Sick of Your Shit - Why Women Don't Want Sex (and it's not just the hormones!)"

Menopause is a significant milestone in a woman's life, often accompanied by a multitude of physical and emotional changes. While hormonal fluctuations are a well-known aspect of this transition, there's more to the story when it comes to a woman's decreased desire for sex with her partner. It's crucial to recognise that menopause's impact on a woman's sexual desire is not solely attributed to hormones. Instead, it can also be influenced by deeper emotional and relational factors. In this blog post, we'll delve into some of the reasons why menopausal women might lose interest in sex with their partners and how this is not just about hormones but can be tied to past behaviours and inequalities in the relationship.

1. Resentment from Past Behaviour

One significant factor contributing to a decline in sexual desire among menopausal women is resentment stemming from past behaviour. Over the years, many women may have shouldered the majority of the emotional labour, child-rearing, and household responsibilities. When menopause arrives, it can bring newfound clarity and a sense of empowerment. Women may begin to reflect on their past experiences and resentful feelings may emerge if they perceive that they've been unfairly treated or taken for granted in their relationship.

2. Evolving Roles as Parents and Professionals

As children grow older and become more independent, and as women achieve greater success in their professional lives, their priorities and self-identities often shift. Menopausal women may find themselves in a position where they have more disposable income, more time for self-reflection, and a renewed sense of self-worth. These changes can lead to a shift in priorities and desires, including a decreased interest in a sexual relationship that no longer aligns with their evolving self-concept.

3. The Mind-Body Connection

The mind-body connection plays a crucial role in a woman's sexual desire. When a woman feels valued, respected, and appreciated in her relationship, her overall well-being and sexual desire are positively affected. On the other hand, if a woman has experienced a history of neglect, emotional labour, or disrespect, it can significantly impact her mental and emotional state, leading to a decline in her physical desire for intimacy.

4. Feminism and Clarity

As women age and go through menopause, they often experience a heightened sense of clarity and an increased commitment to feminism. This newfound awareness can lead them to re-evaluate their relationships and question traditional gender roles and expectations. If a woman feels that her partner has not been an equal partner in child-rearing, household responsibilities, or emotional support, it can lead to feelings of disillusionment and a decreased desire for intimacy.

Repairing the Rupture: Seeking Therapy Separately

If you find yourself resonating with the issues discussed in this article and believe that therapy could help you and your partner navigate this challenging phase of life, don't hesitate to seek professional guidance. Therapy can be a transformative tool to address underlying resentments, improve communication, and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

Conclusion

Understanding menopausal women's changing desires requires looking beyond hormonal factors. It's essential for partners to recognise and address these deeper issues, engage in open and empathetic communication, and work towards building a more equitable and fulfilling relationship. Expecting a menopausal wife to desire her partner without addressing past inequalities is unreasonable and unfair. A healthy and satisfying sexual relationship requires mutual respect, understanding, and active effort from both partners to create a harmonious and fulfilling connection.

Consider reaching out to Wynyard Therapy and Life Coaching for expert support in addressing these issues and finding a path towards a more harmonious and satisfying partnership. Remember, it's never too late to mend the rift and reignite the flames of passion in your relationship.